Current Series: The Dolls
In continuation to my 2024 series “Saving the Grotesque”, I am solely concentrating on painting Still Lives of my grotesque doll collection. This series repeats the goal of shedding light on Grotesque art and its beauty. The doll series introduces a new focus on fusing personal life and paintings. Collecting oddities shares the same stigma as Grotesque artwork. Some may consider antiques as garbage and dust collectors, while they can be a glimpse into history for others.
I collect Antique dolls to find beauty in what others would discard. These dolls could have been someone’s favorite toy 200 years ago. The spirits of their previous owners may hope someone is taking good care of their babies. I find so much more character in something that was loved for generations, without knowing their full story or journey. I only know the condition I find them in, and the new life I will provide them.
I paint these dolls to enhance their beauty; to freeze them in time of their current condition, as their quality will continue to worsen with age. Come back as the series continues.
More Works
It Felt Like Something in Me Died, and Something was Born.
It was as if I Shed My Skin and Became Someone New.
1/1/2025
Journal Entry
I don’t know what happened. I wonder if I am healthy. I was completely sober too. Yea I’ve been in my head a lot- Thinking about everyone and everything. Stressing. It got to a point where I had this viscous migraine; used to those, though. On the drive home it worsened and worsened. You know that feeling when you’re falling asleep and it feels like you fell off of a cliff? That happened, but while I was awake… driving.
While it happened, I saw myself driving; as if I were the passenger. There were two of me. Is that what they call an outer body experience? When I felt the drop, I was gone. There was just one of me, but I couldn’t tell if I was dreaming or not. My heartbeat skyrocketed. And suddenly, I was content. I was at peace.
It felt like something in me died, and something was born. Instantly, I stopped thinking and stressing about everything. When I got home, everything felt different. My vocab was different, my thought process was different, and my feelings were different. It was as if I shed my skin and became someone new.
I am celebrating my new life, but mourning my old one. I loved her.
Key notes:
Empty
Confusing
Innocence, Rebirth
Mourning, Darkness